11 Life-Changing Healthy Relationship Tips
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In a modern world with Tinder and Bumble available at our fingertips, love and relationships have changed. The value of a healthy relationship is often overlooked because technology encourages us to swipe right and jump in head first.
Personally, I never had the joy, or from listening to my friends, horror, of partaking in online dating. But, I have been in a less than healthy relationship.
But, as a married millennial woman who regularly does impromptu relationship counselling for her friends, I can say I have the whole relationship thing pretty figured out.
So, I want to share the tips and advice that have turned my once unhealthy relationship into one that makes me beam with joy and feel confident in.
11 Healthy Relationship Tips and Advice for Modern Couples
Whether you have been in a relationship for 2 weeks or 2 years, working on it is crucial. If you want to have a healthy relationship with your partner, you have to work at it. Every single day.
1). Ask for What You Want
Women and men are both equally bad at asking for what they want in a relationship. It’s common for partners to believe that their significant other is a mind reader. *Raising hand with guilt*.
Instead of assuming that your husband knows he should be helping you clean up after dinner and not sitting and playing Fortnite, ask for help.
Instead of waiting around to go on a date, tell your significant other that you want to go out.
This isn’t to say that you should be demanding. Have a conversation about wants, expectations, and the misunderstandings that you two are experiencing.
2). Be Passionate About Their Dreams
Even if you don’t understand their dreams and passions, part of having a healthy relationship is being supportive. Supportive doesn’t just mean literally saying ‘I support you’.
It means learning about their passions so you can have genuine conversation on the topic. It will give you something to talk about.
Now, I know you might not be that interested in your boyfriends weekend fishing trip or his antique collection. I get it. I’ve been there. But, a relationship isn’t all about you and what makes you happy.
Once you start to have conversations about the things that fill your partner’s soul with fire, their happiness will return itself to you, and you will be happy because of how happy it makes them. A whole lot of happiness.
3). Love Yourself
This title kind of makes me cringe. Because it’s often overused and overrated. You can definitely love someone and receive love without being the best version of yourself, first.
From personal experience, this is so true for me. When I met my husband, I was in a dark place where I hated other women, was exceptionally negative, and very insecure.
Luckily, my husband saw something in me that I didn’t see. And he helped me see that potential and was part of my driving force for working on myself.
So, while you don’t need to be your best self to be loved, working towards it is so important to a healthy relationship in this modern world.
There is more opportunity than ever before to cheat, flirt, and go behind our partners’ backs. But, if you feel confident in your relationship and aren’t always second guessing your partner’s whereabouts or intentions, you will find that your relationship is a lot stronger.
4). Take Time Alone
Sometimes, one of the best things you can do for your relationship is to take some time apart. Not in the sense of taking a break. But finding your own hobbies, friend groups, etc.
This gives each person in the relationship a sense of individuality. Especially as a relationship progresses and you move in together, start a life together, etc. you will need these times.
This can happen outside the home or even within the home. Go in a different room and read a book or do yoga. Find a local community and get involved. Or just go for a walk and listen to your favorite music.
5). Pre-Planned Time Together
This relationship tip is most valuable to couples with children, roommates, or very time-consuming careers. Plan to spend time together, alone, without phones, laptops, or other people.
This can be as simple as a watching a weekly show together, playing board or card games, going to the gym together, etc.
It doesn’t need to be a fancy date. Instead, this is a time to connect with your partner and show them that you value them by giving them your time and attention.
6). Stop Saying Always and Never
Most of us women are guilty of this. We say, “you never call me when you’re going to be late.” Or, “you’re always so wrapped up in your phone and social media.”
These statements blanket your entire relationship, and that is unfair. Instead focus on the current moment or situation. Talk in present tense, especially when arguing.
7). Put Down Your Phone
I have shared this tip in other posts, including How to Stop Being an Angry Mom.
Cell phones are amazing and offer so many opportunities to connect and so many ways to mainstream daily tasks and events. But the good doesn’t come without the bad.
Cell phones are addicting and can wreak havoc on a relationship. According to King University, people touch their phones 2,617 times per day. This includes taps, clicks, and swipes. In the same article, it states that people spend an average of 5 hours per day on their phones.
Because most people work outside the home, these 5 hours are happening before or after work. And this is time that you could be spending with your significant other.
Put down your phones during dinner, while watching TV or a movie, and while having conversations with your partner.
8). Tell Them How Much You Appreciate Them
Especially with those we love and see the most often, we forget to express our gratitude and appreciation for them. Feeling unloved or underappreciated can be detrimental in a relationship.
This statistic isn’t meant to scare you, but more to instill in you just how important it is to show your appreciation for your partner. Everyone wants to feel loved and appreciated.
Give your partner that validation regularly. Thank them for what they do around the house, their commitment to their career, and their commitment to you.
9). Learn About Their Weaknesses
Everyone has them. Don’t criticize your partner for their weaknesses. Instead, learn about them and support them so they can grow.
My weakness is anger. Throughout the years I have worked exceptionally hard to be less angry and deal with these emotions in a healthy way.
My husband has been there, listened to me scream and say terrible things. And in my moments of weakness he has learned how he can be a supporting block in my own personal growth.
He gives me time to rationalize the situation. He stays calm in the face of rage. And he reminds me that we are a team and it is us against the problem.
This is just one example. Your partner’s weakness may be lack of communication, being jealous or untrusting, etc. Rather than making them feel bad, support and encourage them.
10). Set Goals Together
Everyone has individual goals and life ambitions. But having a common goal with your significant other is key to a successful relationship.
You both have a commonality that you are working towards as a team. This will help strengthen your bond and give you a topic that you are both interested in to talk about.
And while it’s always exciting to celebrate your solo victories, it’s even more rewarding to celebrate victories together.
To choose a goal as a couple, talk about your hopes and dreams for the future. What is something you both want? Once you have decided on a common goal you can work together to create an action plan.
This action plan should include work from both people and should allow both people the opportunity to experiment with creative options. Support and encourage this behavior.
Having and working towards a common goal is one of the most relationship strengthening things you can do. And when you achieve your goals together, the success feels even greater and more rewarding.
11). Start Dating Again
If you’ve been in your current relationship for a while, say over a year, there’s a good chance that things have become monotonous. And while establishing a routine is good, a relationship can begin to feel stagnant without frequently fueling the romance.
Everyday chores and financial situations can easily squeeze their way in front of your relationship as it progresses. Life upkeep seems like a higher prioritiy than your relationship.
And that’s why it’s so important to reestablish that flame and keep your relationship at the top of your priority list.
So, start dating. This could entail dinner and a movie, a hike, a night of board games with wine and music, or whatever brings change and romance to your regular routine.
Even if you can’t afford to go out, there are tons of at home date night ideas that require little to no money to do. With all these options, there is no excuse to not change things up and date your significant other.
If I have learned one thing over the years it’s that your relationship should be equally as important as your day-to-day obligations. If you want to have a healthy relationship you have to work at it often.
It doesn’t take but a couple minutes to express your gratitude for the person you love. And spending quality time with your partner will always be more rewarding than sitting on your phone.
Change doesn’t always come easy, but if you want to change your current situation, you will have to do things you haven’t been doing. Try a little every day. Make small commitments. And over time, you will build a healthy and long lasting relationship with your partner.